


Monster Mash

by goldthatglistens



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 12:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20447411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldthatglistens/pseuds/goldthatglistens
Summary: Dean is a monster… or is he?A series of unfortunate events lead Jack to think Dean is a monster when in fact Dean and Castiel are just getting it on in the bunker.(This fic is set in season 13 and pretends that Jack doesn't immediately jet off after Cas gets back.)





	Monster Mash

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago, just found it and thought, eh why not post it. Apologies for any grammar errors, esp any verb tense errors. Also, sorry for this whole fic. It's trash, but I had fun writing it lol

There is something wrong with Dean. Jack just knows it.

Ever since Castiel came back, Dean has been acting strange as though he is cursed. Evidence? He smiles, for one. He also sings weird little songs in the shower, cooks breakfast every morning, and occasionally blasts music in his room. While he is still a grump before coffee, after a few sips he winks a “Morning, sunshine,” at Cas and ruffles Sam’s hair. 

Dean also acts differently towards Jack. The scowls, grumbles about the antichrist, and death threats have abated. Dean is now trying to “fix Sammy’s mistakes and wipe all that nerdy crap out of Jack’s mind.” Dean made Jack sit and listen to Zepplin, Seeger, and AC/DC, while he muttered under his breath about Sammy and “crappy indie rock bullshit”. Dean taught him how to shoot and clean a gun, saying that “Every hunter worth their salt has to know how to handle a gun, goddamn it, Satan spawn or otherwise.” And once, Dean even  _ smiled _ at Jack. 

But the real reason why Jack knows something is wrong with Dean is how he acts around Castiel. When Dean looks at Castiel, it’s like he can’t look away. When Castiel speaks, Dean sometimes turns strange red and pink colors. And when Dean responds to Castiel, he sometimes has a hard time getting words out. This problem is especially evident whenever Castiel shows weakness. Once such example was when Castiel walked out in just underpants and Dean stared and sputtered for almost an entire minute. 

Also, when Dean looks at Castiel, he gets an expression of hunger that Jack has never before seen on Dean’s face. Dean looks at Castiel like Castiel is the biggest most juiciest burger he has even seen. 

And even though Jack was scared stiff of the old Dean, Jack is determined to do the right thing, the good thing, like his mother would want: bring the real Dean back. He confides his worries in Sam first. Of anyone Sam would know his brother the best. 

However, Sam just laughs and rubs the back of his head. “We have Cas to thank for that. The Dean you first met. He was angry, real angry. In a real bad place.” 

“What did Cas do?” asks Jack. 

Sam shrugs. “Dean missed Cas and now he’s back. That’s why Dean is in such a good mood.”

But Jack isn’t convinced. Dean, or whatever is pretending to be Dean, is probably acting strange around Castiel because it is afraid of angelic wrath. Jack is determined to get to the bottom of this.

Jack stalks Dean for the next few weeks. Dean did not let his cover slip one bit. Dean’s daily schedule consists mostly of devouring large quantities of food, imbibing alcohol, masturbating, and pretending to do research whilst actually staring at Castiel. 

Jack is just about to give up when he enters the war room and encounters a most horrible scene. Dean has Castiel pushed against the wall and is  ** _eating his face_ ** . Jack is frozen for a moment until Castiel moans in pain. 

“Get away from him,” yells Jack and puts his hand out without thinking. Dean is thrown away from Castiel into the wall. He crumples to the floor and fell silent. 

“Jack!” cries Castiel. He starts to move towards Dean. 

“No, Castiel,” shouts Jack and he uses his powers to push Cas to the other wall away from Dean. “He was trying to eat you!” 

“Jack,” says Castiel struggling against the force holding him in place. “Let me explain. Please.” 

Jack gives Dean a very hard look to see if he could see any sort of spells. Dean doesn’t look any different crumpled up on the floor, though he is drooling a bit. 

“Jack,” growls Castiel bringing Jack’s attention back to Castiel. There is no blood on Castiel’s face nor on Dean’s mouth, but Jack is positive that Dean was trying to eat Castiel.

“Jack!” Sam’s surprised voice is behind him. “What’s going on here?”

“Sam,” Jack sighs with relief. Sam can fix this. “Remember how I said that Dean is weird? That he’s acting differently?” 

“Yes,” says Sam slowly, forehead creasing. 

“Well, I walked in here and saw Dean eating Castiel’s face!” whispers Jack.

“Okaaay,” says Sam. “Hold up here.” He holds up his hands and turns to Castiel. “Let me get this straight. You and him?”

Castiel nods.

“Finally,” Sam sighs. 

“So do you believe me?” asks Jack. 

“Well, I certainly believe that you came in here and thought you saw Dean eating Cas’s face.” Sam shudders. “Ugh, I don’t even want to think about it. How traumatizing.”

“Well, what should we do?” asks Jack, happy that Sam agreed.

“First, let Castiel go.”

“But Dean--” protests Jack.

“It’s okay, Jack. I promise.” Sam spreads out his gigantic hands in a placating gesture. “Just listen to what Dean and Cas have to say. It’ll make sense.”

Jack begrudgingly releases his hold on Castiel and shuts his mouth. Castiel immediately walks over to Dean and shakes him gently.

Dean sits up with a grunt. “Bacon?” he asks blearily.

“No bacon,” murmurs Castiel. “Just me.” 

“Yummy,” smirks Dean. Castiel puts his finger on Dean’s forehead to heal him. Dean shakes his head as he regained his senses. 

“Cas?” asks Dean looking around in confusion as he picks himself up off the floor. “What the hell happened?”

“You got a concussion,” sighs Sam. “Because Jack walked in on you  _ eating Cas’s face off _ .” 

Dean chuckles and pats Castiel’s butt. “Oh yeah, I was, baby.”

Castiel gives Dean an affronted glare. “Dean.” Dean smirks at Cas. 

“Dean,” Sam echoes in an exasperated tone. “Please explain to Jack what you were doing.”

Dean continues to smirk at Castiel until he processes Sam’s words. “Wait, wait, wait, wait.” Dean looks horrified. “You want me to give the kid,” Dean lowers his voice to a whisper, “ _ the talk _ ?”

Sam rubs his forehead with his hand, looking exasperated with the situation. “Just explain yourself, Dean,” says Sam. “He’s confused and scared. Jack needs to know that you mean no harm.”

“What about Cas?” asks Dean. “He’s as much of a part of this too. Hell, he’s practically Jack’s father.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Dean, I think a human explanation would be best. But Cas could help out too.” He turns to Castiel expectantly. 

“Are we talking about the fornification?” asks Castiel. Both the Winchester brothers sigh heavily. 

“Yes, Cas,” says Sam. 

“This is easy to explain,” Castiel turns to Jack. “Fornification, also known as sexual intercourse, occurs between two males such as Dean and myself when--”

He breaks off when a tomato-colored Dean loudly clears his throat and slaps his hand on Castiel’s mouth. Castiel glares at Dean.

“On second thought, Sam, I can do this without the help of Feathers here,” says Dean who was turning an alarming shade of fuschia. “The last thing we want is to scar the kid with some anatomically correct explanations.”

Jack at this point is very confused. “What is happening? Who is fornicating?”

“Dean,” protests Sam ignoring Jack’s questions. “Anatomical explanations are actually part of the talk. But you really need to explain the thing between you and Castiel. Especially because Castiel is, like, Jack’s dad. That makes you like Jack’s step---”

“I know,” Dean interrupts Sam and holds up his hands. “I got it, Sammy. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”

“Dean, I know the mechanics of human anatomy down to the molecular---”

“And I’m gonna stop you right there, Cas,” says Dean. 

“Actually, maybe I should help out,” Sam muses. “I have ---”

“No, Sammy,” Dean cuts Sam off. “Look, I am not talking about me doing stuff with Cas with you in the room. That’s just… I’d rather fight Lucifer.” Dean shudders and looks a little green.

“But, you do have to admit, you are very repressed, Dean,” says Sam waving his giant arms around for emphasis. “You can’t leave things out because of your overcompensating macho behavior.”

“Cut the shrink crap, Sammy,” growls Dean. “I can handle it.”

“Human society is unnecessarily obsessed with keeping sex a secret when, in heaven, angels watch humans copulate all the time,” Castiel comments. 

Both Sam and Dean groan loudly. Dean puts his head in his hands.

“Eww, Cas,” sighs Sam wrinkling his nose. 

“Ugh, listen, Cas. I never needed to know that,” complains Dean. “Just to think that Raphael or Balthazar watched me doing...” Dean trails off with a shudder.

“That is how I knew you liked it when I spanked your---”

“Sam, Castiel,” Dean cuts Castiel off and gestures to the door. “Please just get the hell out of this room. I got this.”

Sam gives a hissy sigh and turns to go, but Castiel faces Dean, “Dean, I do believe--”

“Just go, Cas,” says Dean practically pushing Cas out the door. “I said, I got this. Trust me.”

Sam and Castiel both reluctantly trudge out of the room. 

Dean waits until both sets of footsteps retreated and then turns to face Jack. 

“Look, Jack. Sex is… Sex happens…” Dean waves his hand up and down and clears his throat. 

“What?” asks Jack. 

“Sex…” Dean swallows heavily, like his throat is closing up. “Castiel and I. Well, it’s...yeah.” Dean looks at Jack expectantly like that is supposed to make sense. 

“What?” Jack is getting annoyed. This is getting nowhere. He fails to see how knowing about sex had anything to do with Dean and Castiel. 

“Well, Castiel...and I….” Dean tries again. “We… well, you know.” 

“Dean,” says Jack. “I don’t understand the bit about the fornification, nor do I care. All I want to know is, were you trying to hurt Cas? Are you planning on hurting Cas?”

“No!” exclaims Dean. “No, no, no. You see Cas and I--”

Dean breaks off and coughs. 

“Cas and me, we---” Dean shakes his head. “Look, it’s complicated and it may seem confusing now, but in the end I think this will make Cas and me---” Dean covers his face with his hands and groans. 

“What?” asks Jack, thoroughly confused. 

“I know it may seem weird now, but I promise you it is not a bad thing, okay?” asks Dean. “Hell, I mean I would have thought it was weird ten years ago. But I care for Cas as much as Sammy and no other--” Dean pauses, “special friend has ever come this close. I swear Cas is not getting hurt. Please tell me you understand.”

“Okay,” Jack lies because Dean looks desperate and apparently Cas is not getting hurt. But Jack is still confused. 

“But, can you keep this between me, Sammy and Cas?” asks Dean. “The world out there; it’s a rough one. They don’t take kindly to---” Dean waves his hands in the air. 

Jack wrinkles his brow in confusion. “What?”

“People like us,” says Dean gesturing at himself.

“Ah,” says Jack. He now understands. Dean is not under a spell. Dean had become a monster and Castiel is trying to help. “Why were you sucking his face?”

“Well, Jack,” starts Dean. “Sometimes, people... Sometimes, I have needs. And sometimes... I need Castiel. And he helps.”

“I see,” says Jack. Castiel is helping Dean so that he doesn’t have to prey on humans.

“Capiche?” asks Dean. 

“What?” 

Dean rolls his eyes. “Do you understand now?”

“I understand.” Jack nods. It all made much more sense now. That was why Dean always looked so hungry when he looked at Castiel. 

“Good,” says Dean breathing a sigh of relief. “Well, that was--- I need a drink.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” asks Jack. 

“I didn’t even tell Sammy. I’m still coming to terms with things, you know?”

“Ah.” It would be hard for Dean to tell his brother that he became a monster. Dean wouldn’t tell Jack anything before he would tell Sam.

“Yeah.” Dean sighs.

“But Dean,” says Jack. 

“Yeah, kid?” Dean looks apprehensive.

“If you ever hurt Castiel,” Jack makes his face as menacing as possible. “I will hunt you down.”

Dean laughs and runs his hands through his hair. “Well, Jack. If I ever hurt Castiel, I deserve it.”

“Good,” says Jack.

“Good,” agrees Dean. “Let’s never speak of this again.”

“Agreed.” Jack nods. He will keep his eye on Dean now that he knows Dean is a monster. He will make sure that Dean doesn’t hurt Castiel, himself, or anyone else. Jack will do good. 

***

Jack put it out of his mind until a week later when Dean and Cas come down to breakfast looking extra disheveled. Cas has large bite marks on his neck and winces when he sits down. 

Jack glares at Dean. Unfortunately, Dean is too busy hungrily staring at Cas to notice. 

Cas excuses himself to take a shower and limps away. Dean doesn’t even help Cas, but just stares hungrily at him until Cas leaves the room. Jack glares some more. However, now Dean is too busy staring hungrily at his bacon.

If Jack were a monster and had to feed off of someone else to live, Jack would feel bad if they got injured. Dean, however, doesn’t appear to feel any remorse for Cas as he was currently stuffing his face with bacon. Jack feels rage build up within him and accidentally sets Dean’s bacon on fire. 

Dean jumps away from the bacon as it bursts into flame. “Hey, what the hell?!” 

Jack glares at Dean and Dean finally notices. 

“This is your doing, isn’t it?” Dean straightens himself in outrage. “How dare you take a man’s bacon away before he’s had his morning coffee. That’s a federal crime. Control yourself, asshat.” 

Jack ignores everything he didn't understand and narrows his eyes at Dean. “I don’t approve of what you’re doing to Castiel.” 

Dean’s anger fades out of him and he looks a little sad. “So that’s what this is about.”

“Yes,” Jack glares. 

Dean sighs and he looks down at the table. “Look, I know you don’t approve of me, but Cas is happy. I’m happy. I know I’m not the best man and Cas deserves so much better, but please, just..” Dean shrugs and trails off. “I’ll make sure we’ll never do anything in front of you. But I ain’t gonna stop being with Cas because you don’t approve. I’ve been through too much for that.” Dean squares his shoulders and glares back at Jack.

Jack frowns. “I just want you to treat him better. Like this morning, he was limping on his way to the shower. You could have helped him. But you just sat there and ate your bacon.” 

Dean wilts and puts a hand over his face. “You’re right, I fucked this up. I can be more attentive. I’ll do my best. I...I just don’t want to screw this up.” Dean looks down. Jack is surprised to see one tear drop work its way out of Dean’s eyes. 

“It’s okay, Dean,” says Jack. “I believe in you.” He is glad Dean was now feeling remorse for how he treated Cas. 

Dean nods, pushed away his charred bacon and gets up from the table. “Gonna go see Cas now,” Dean says gruffly. “Gonna do better.” 

“Good, Dean,” says Jack encouragingly. He smiles at Dean and Dean walks off towards the showers. 

***

Jack decides to keep closer tabs on Dean not only for Castiel’s sake, but also for Dean’s sake as Jack may be able to help. Jack sleuths around to keep observing Dean. Jack hears Castiel’s moans coming from Dean’s room every night and deduces that Dean needs to feed at least once a day. Jack begins to stay by Dean’s room every night just in case Castiel needs to shout out for help. Jack knows that Castiel is an angel and can take care of himself, but Jack often hears horrible things shaking and banging inside Dean’s room. He can’t help but to be worried. 

One night Sam nearly trips on Jack as he sis patiently outside Dean’s door to monitor the nightly feeding. 

“Jack,” Sam whispers. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I’m making sure everything is okay,” explains Jack. “Monitoring the situation.” 

Castiel gives a particularly loud moan and Jack raises his eyebrows at Sam. Sam winces. 

“Jack,” Sam says carefully. “I know you feel protective of Castiel, but I can promise you. Cas is fine. Cas is happy.” 

Jack becomes angry. “You only are only saying that because your main concern is Dean, that Dean is happy.” 

Sam sighs. “You are right that I’m happy that Dean is happy, but I think Cas is also happy. I’m sure Cas is appreciative that you are so concerned for him, but I think Cas may be happier if you just let Dean and him be. They are both consenting adults who can make their own decisions.” 

A horrible loud banging noise begins and Dean’s entire room begins to shake. Sam looks horrified and Jack feels the same way inside. Something horrible is definitely happening inside that room. 

“I can’t stay here and listen to this,” Sam says and quickly drags Jack away. 

“That was horrifying,” says Jack. 

“Yeah, no kidding,” says Sam looking disgusted. 

They stop in front of Jack’s room and Sam opens the door for him.

“Jack, please just go to sleep. Don’t lurk outside Dean’s room. You don’t need to monitor them. It’s weird. Cas is fine, I promise,” says Sam.

“Okay,” says Jack obediently. 

Sam nodded and says, “Good. Now, goodnight, Jack.” 

“Goodnight, Sam.” 

Sam closes the door and Jack listens to Sam’s footsteps plod away. If Sam was alright with it, then Jack supposes it was alright, but he couldn’t help the tingle of worry within his stomach.

***

Jack stayed away from Dean’s room at night, but still assesses Cas’s state of wellbeing every morning. Some days Cas looks bright and rested, but other days he limps about with great big red marks on his neck. Jack doesn’t set Dean’s bacon on fire, but settles for giving Dean very angry glares. 

Jack notices that Dean begins to do a lot to get Jack and Sam out of the bunker. Dean keeps sending Sam and Jack out to get supplies or groceries. Sam, being the kind brother that he is, plays along with Dean’s demands. Jack is growing worried. Dean is getting Sam and him out of the bunker so he can feed on Castiel during the day. That means that Dean is getting worse and is slipping further into being a monster.

Jack tolerates it, until one day when he comes back and sees that in addition to the great big red marks on his neck, Castiel has also gained rope marks on his wrists. Jack has had enough. Jack plots to come back and confront Dean in the act the next time Dean needs to feed on Castiel during the daytime. 

His chance comes the next week, when Dean sidles up to Jack and Sam as they sit at the table. 

“Listen,” says Dean. “Why don’t you and Sammy go to the store, get some grub? Hell, it’ll be good for you. Get out of the house a bit.”

“I--” starts Sam.

“Excellent,” says Dean pushing Jack and Sam towards the door. “Make sure to pick up some pie!” Sam rolls his eyes, but grabs the keys to the Impala. 

Jack gives Sam the slip after Sam is gushing over some weird food. “Real organic kombucha, Jack! Here, would you believe? Look they even sell the starter. We can make our own kombucha. This is the best day of my _life_.” 

Jack teleports back to the bunker and sneaks inside. He listens carefully and hears Castiel moan and Dean grunting loudly. 

He tiptoes towards the sound of Dean and Castiel. It sounds like the feeding has just begin. Jack crouches and bides his time. He thinks that Dean’s feedings have been escalating in intensity and violence, and he needs to catch Dean in the act at the right moment so Castiel and Sam will understand that Dean has a bigger problem than they thought. After crouching in the hallway for about ten minutes, he finally hears Castiel’s moans increase. 

“Stop it, Dean. I can’t take it any longer,” Castiel moaned in pain. “Please.”

Jack’s heart sinks. Though he hoped it wouldn’t happen he knew that this moment would come. Jack sprints as fast as he can the source of Castie’s moans. He uses his powers to burst into the room and sees that Dean has tied Castiel to the headboard. 

“Stop!” cries Jack and throws Dean off of Castiel. Dean falls to the floor groaning. “I let you have Castiel and I said nothing, but tying him down is going too far!”

“What?” groans Dean clutching his head. 

“You can’t tie Castiel down. It’s not me who is full of sin; it’s you! You’re horrible, Dean. You are becoming the monster you didn’t want to be!” Jack pointed accusingly at Dean. 

“You mean to tell me that Satan’s child himself is telling me that it is sinful to engage in some kinky sex?”

“What?” asks Jack confused. “Kinky sex?” Jack hears the front door of the bunker opening and the sound of Sam running towards the room.

Dean rolls his eyes and pulls himself off the floor and onto the bed with a groan. “Yeah, Jack. Kinky sex. If you got that stick out of your butt long enough to stop giving me and Cas disapproving glares, maybe you might learn something for once.”

“What?” asks Jack again. He furrows his brow. What does kinky sex have to do with anything?

“Jack--” starts Castiel but Dean cuts him off. 

“No, no, no,” says Dean. “Jack needs to learn what is right and what is wrong. And kinky sex is not wrong. Ruining kinky sex is wrong.”

Jack frowns. “You were having the sex?”

“Yes,” shouts Dean. “We were having sex until you interrupted us!”

“Dean. I don’t care about the sex. I thought you had turned into a monster and that you were feeding on Cas,” explains Jack. 

Jack hears laughter behind him and sees Sam doubled over clutching his stomach. 

“Dean…Monster... Cas” Sam can’t even talk he is laughing so hard. 

Dean sees Sam and screams. “Sammy!” Dean shrieks. Dean hurriedly covers up Castiel with a blanket and throws on a pair of boxers. Castiel pulls his arms out of the ropes binding him to the bed and puts a soothing arm around Dean. 

“You thought Dean was eating me?” Castiel asks Jack. 

“Yes,” says Jack earnestly. “I saw Dean’s bite marks and I heard Cas moaning in pain every night. I thought Dean needed to feed and it made sense he would feed off of you, an angel, because you’d be able to heal yourself.” 

Dean chokes and has to be pounded on the back by Castiel. Sam is still spasming with laughter on the floor. 

“And today I heard moans and Cas was all tied up. What was I supposed to think? Can someone please tell me what is happening here? Why is everyone naked?” Jack looks helplessly between Dean, Sam, and Cas. 

Cas turns to Dean angrily. “Did you not tell Jack about the fornification?” 

Dean’s mouth falls open and he gapes at Castiel. “I...I…I...” 

“Dean!” Castiel admonishes. 

Dean looks very sulky. 

Castiel frowns. “I knew I should have taught him about the fornification!” 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Dean looks very remorseful. “I just thought it was weird to talk about, you know,  _ doing it  _ in front of your surrogate son!” 

“There is nothing weird about it,” says Cas. He turned his head to face Jack. “Jack. What you just witnessed was Dean and I having the sex. When you walked in, Dean and I were enjoying the very pleasurable feeling when Dean places his erect penis inside my rectum to stimulate my prostate. Dean and I---” 

“STOP!” Dean and Sam yell simultaneously. Sam has stopped laughing and now looks very disturbed.

“This is a disaster,” Dean groans putting his head in his hands. 

“You’re a disaster,” says Sam. “I can’t believe your sex talk was so bad that Jack thought you were a monster.” 

“At least it was better than Cas’s,” counters Dean. 

“No, it wasn’t,” says Sam. “At least his was accurate and got the point across.”

“But you didn’t let me continue,” pouts Castiel. 

Dean and Sam shudders simultaneously. 

“Not with my baby brother here, please,” says Dean. “Let’s stop talking about sex.”

“Yes,” says Sam. “Please let me give Jack the explanation he deserves.” 

“Thank you,” mutters Dean. 

“Jack,” says Sam. “After a stupidly long period of intense pining and repression--” 

“Hey,” Dean protests.

“It’s true,” says Castiel.

“---Dean and Cas finally got their heads on straight and began to date. This happened on the night that you thought Dean was eating Cas’s face. Dean was actually kissing Cas. Dean is not a monster. Dean and Cas are in love.” 

“Sam makes it sound like I’m bad at kissing,” pouts Dean to Castiel. 

“Your kisses light up my life,” comforts Castiel. Dean kisses Castiel on the cheek and Castiel smiles blindingly at Dean. Dean smiles back shyly. 

“I understand now,” Jack turns towards Dean and Castiel. “And I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you, Jack,” says Castiel. “We appreciate it.”

Dean begins to get a constipated look on his face. “Hey, wait. So when I thought you didn’t approve of me dating Cas, you were actually trying to tell me you didn’t approve of me feeding off of Cas? Because you thought I was a monster?”

“Yes,” says Jack. “I have no problems with you and Castiel dating. I wish you both the best.” 

Dean gives a sigh of relief. “Phew. I really thought my step-son hated me.”

Cas smiles and kisses Dean gently on the cheek. “I told you that you probably misunderstood him.”

“Step-son?” asks Jack. 

“Yeah, Jack,” Dean clears his throat. “I know I may have been a bit of an ass to you, but you’ve fought with us. You’re a part of us now.” He gestures to Sam and Castiel.

Sam nods in agreement. “Family.” 

Jack feels a contentment sweep over him and he smiles. All he wanted was to be tolerated, but now he was accepted. Castiel smiles back at him and Jack feels his heart lift in happiness. This is all he ever wanted: to be loved. 

“I love you all,” says Jack. “Thank you.” 

“I care for and love you deeply as well,” says Castiel. 

“We love you too, man,” says Sam. 

Sam and Castiel look expectantly at Dean. 

“Same,” Dean says. “I...well, you know, care...deeply.” 

Sam rolls his eyes and Cas frowns at Dean. 

“Dean,” says Cas. 

Dean rolls his eyes. “I love you too, Jack. Now let’s go barbecue some steaks and down some beers before we start painting our nails and braiding our hair.” 

Sam mutters something that sounded like, “Toxic masculinity.”

Dean gets up from the bed. “Well, Cas, Jack and I will eat steaks. You go make your weird salad.” He pats Sam on the back. 

“Eww,” Sam shrieks. “You didn’t wash your hands! Get off me!”

Dean cackles madly and gestures to Castiel. “Come on, angel. Let me clean you up in the shower.” 

Castiel nods and follows Dean to the door.

Sam shrieks again. “Cas! Put on some clothes!”

“Why should I?” asks Castiel. “Dean’s just going to take them off again.” 

Dean smirks and presses a kiss to Castiel’s head. “Quite right, angel.” He gives Sam the finger, puts his arm around Cas and they walk out the door together. 

Sam groans and turns to Jack. “Let’s go drink some beer, Jack. I really need one.” 

Jack nods and follows Sam out of the room. He smiles happily at the retreating rear ends of Dean and Castiel on the way to the shower. Dean is not a monster, Castiel and Dean are in love, and Jack-- son of Satan, the very anti-Christ himself-- is loved and is a member of a family. Besides the whole end of the world stuff, all is very well. 


End file.
